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Honey, you don't love me anymore!

Alright, let's tell it how it is! No tales of honour, no tales of glory, just the truth. There is only two things that all Rowany visitors do. Number One, they visit the privies, as that is not the stuff of legends we will ignore that completely. The second one is they visit the Tavern!

People will tell you that Rowany is for fighting, for dancing, for singing, for meeting people and all those noble pursuits. The reality is it is about drinking. Even if you don't drink alcohol you will visit the Tavern. This is my Tavern story.

It was my first Rowany, I was drunk, very very drunk. I had had an argument with my partner, Constanzia, and proceeded to get sh*tfaced! The night started with Tequila (PS talk to Ermintrude about it), then to red wine and then to the staple of the Tavern - Cider!

I cannot remember how much I drank but as anyone who has been drunk a couple of times will know - that feeling you get when you suddenly come to the realization that you really ought to stop drinking, and go to bed. It also helps when your partner tells you repeatedly to. I proceeded into the tent where I then started to undress (partially) and lay down (fall down). As I was contemplating just how drunk I was, the world started swirling and I knew, to the core of my being that I was going to throw up. Rolling over to let myself out of the tent I could not find the zipper to the tent. As the panic set in, I fumbled in the dark, groping uselessly, trying to escape the tent. Then time ran out, too late, I vomited inside the tent.

With my mind and body suddenly released from its burden I realised that I was in fact at the wrong end of the tent. The first thought that went through my mind was not self embarrassment, not shame, but OH MY GOD HOW AM I GOING TO EXPLAIN THIS TO CONSTANZIA! I valiantly started to clean the tent, only to realize that the smell would stay for awhile.

In a moment of rare clarity for the evening I decided I better move the bed out of the tent, next to the campfire. After all this exertion the only thing I could think to do was to fall over asleep next to the fire.

After time had passed, my beloved returned to the camp to see me and the bed next to the camp fire. Unsure as to why the bed and me would be located next to the campfire as opposed to were the bed is supposed to be she woke me and asked me what happened.

I woke up, saw it was Constanzia and began to cry, mumbling "you don't love me anymore". Constanzia unsure as to what brought this on, attempted to console me by saying that she still loved me. Hearing this I cried "you won't love me when you've found out what I have done". Roused into suspicion she had to ask me what is it that I had done. When I informed her that I had thrown up in the tent, she apparently was not sure as to whether she should be angry or rolling on the floor laughing. Luckily for me she decided to console me, constantly reassuring me that she still loved me, giving me the hugs I desperately wanted. After she had calmed me I don't remember much except sleep.

Imagine the sight the morning after of the two of us waking up outside the tent, naturally I told them the truth. So the moral of this story is if you do anything embarrassing that you know everyone will know about, make sure you're the first person to tell everyone. That way it goes from being merely an embarrassing tale to an amusing anecdote.

Oh and by the way make sure you know which end of the tent you came in!