Orange Goop! by Lady Lucia Littlefaire
Before the most recent Festival, I have had two experiences leading an encampment kitchen. The first was a very near disaster which befell me when I camped with Bangor. Lady Marie had entrusted me the task of preparing the encampment’s main meal of Chicken in Orange. I zealously followed every step of her carefully written recipe and after 2 hours of careful cooking, dusk began to fall and the other household members began to gather and loiter near our feasting tent.
However, all of my most strenuous efforts had yielded what was essentially chunks of chicken and onion floating in hot orange juice. It was about as savoury as Spam is to a vegetarian. I began to panic, 10 other people were about to starve and it was entirely my fault. I despaired and resolved to prostrate myself before Marie and humbly beg her forgiveness over the issue of the steaming orange fluid with unwholesome portions of poultry. However, as I prepared for my woeful confession, my blessed Uncle Alaric strolled in and noticed my anguished face. After pouring out my heart, he confidently strolled over, shook a few spices over my pot of orange misery and then told me to stir for 10 minutes. It was a miracle! In fact I expected to see the Virgin Mary’s face in the soup after the magic he performed. Somehow he managed to convert my orange failure into a palatable and appetising meal.
Lesson learned? If you ever find yourself in a difficult situation, wait for a big, strong man to come along and fix it for you.